


Mischief and Merriment

by Melanthia13



Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Bullies, F/M, Fili and Kili are Scamps, Fíli and Kíli Are Little Shits, Kili is Protective, Mischief, Pre-Quest, Protective Daddy OCs, Young Dwarves, mentions of bullying
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-04
Updated: 2015-01-04
Packaged: 2018-03-05 05:50:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3108425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melanthia13/pseuds/Melanthia13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fili and Kili are brothers and the best of friends who have endured much and enjoyed much more in their lives. This will be a collection of short stories and one-shots exploring the lives of our favorite Dwarven brothers. The story is AU with no romances or bromances but all sorts of brotherly love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Mad Dash

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry I've been from the fandom for so long. I've been having trouble putting my thoughts to paper and have been in a deep, deep depression. That being said, I decided to publish this incomplete story that was on FF.net first. I think it would do me good to have something new up after so long. I'm going to try writing again, maybe I'll be inspired enough to publish more original work that isn't 2 years old. Anyway, thanks in advance to anyone who reads this story.

Fili had finished dressing for the day when he heard a commotion in the hallway followed by curses in Khuzdul. He went to his door and opened it a sliver to investigate and was surprised to feel it yanked out of his grasp when his younger brother wrenched it open and dashed inside.

“Hide me brother, Dorin is after me.” He explained breathlessly and Fili closed the door and locked it before he turned to his brother with a smile.

“I take it your evening walk with Griselda turned into something more?” He asked rhetorically and Kili grinned wolfishly before he went to his brother’s wardrobe and took out a tunic and pants. He’d had to leave a few articles of clothing behind when Griselda’s father had caught him in her bed.

“Doesn’t it always brother? I do not know why Dorin got so worked up, it’s not like I’m the first to plow that furrow.” He laughed heartily and Fili laughed with him. He was right of course. Griselda was not known for her chastity.

“Kili! You coward! Come out here and face me!” Dorin yelled as he pounded on Fili’s door and he motioned for Kili to hide under the bed but Kili, offended by being called a coward, moved to the door and opened it.

“Be careful who you call a coward Dorin. I am here to face you, speak your peace and be done with it.” Kili spoke calmly and Fili smiled at his brother. If there was one way to enrage his brother it was to call him a coward.

“You are a disgrace to your line, to use an innocent maiden so selfishly... You don’t deserve to call yourself a dwarf. I expect you to walk back to my daughter’s rooms and beg for her to become your bride. I will not have my daughter live in shame!” He shouted and Kili had to stifle a laugh but Fili snorted at the mention of “innocent”. With a shake of his head Kili removed the amused look from his face and looked at Dorin with all seriousness.

“Master Dorin, I truly am sorry that you learned of your daughter’s unchaste behavior in such a way but I must defend myself. Griselda is far from the innocent maid your claim her to be, ask any of the young dwarves she “walks” with in the evenings. A walk with Griselda is a guaranteed evening of fun. Now, I was going to leave discreetly and save your pride and your daughter’s reputation but you decided to run through the halls acting mad. From what I see, any disgrace rests on your shoulders.” Kili explained calmly and with dignity while Dorin turned red with impotent rage.

“Then I suppose this was just a misunderstanding. I’d be grateful if you kept this between us and remained discreet.” Dorin choked out and Kili smiled and patted the older dwarf on the shoulder.

“Think nothing of it Dorin. Have a good day.” Kili moved back and closed the door in the other dwarf’s face before He turned to his brother with a grin.

“I don’t know why you keep doing this brother. This is the third outraged father this month. Before you know it one of them is going to make you marry their daughter.” Fili told his brother who flopped on his brothers feather bed and laid back with his arms beneath his head.

“If that happens I’ll just go forward and make my fortunes on the open road. I’m sure there are plenty of untouched maids ready for my attentions and adventures to have. You should come with me brother. Imagine what we could do, out in that world together!” He enthused and Fili chuckled as he leaned against the wall by his bed.

“It is a wonderful dream brother and someday we will live it. For now you just need to stop getting caught. It’s fine to just leave after your done.” Fili explained and Kili shook his head with a chuckle.

“Oh brother, what’s the fun in that? Nothing like a midnight shag to wake your loins. It’s worth being discovered. Spend the night next time you’re with the fair Emeralda. You won’t regret it.” Kili told his brother with a grin and Fili laughed before he grabbed his pillow and forcefully shoved it onto his brother’s face. 

…

Fili ran through the halls of the mountain, hastily throwing on the clothes he was able to grab. He was glad he was spritely for a dwarf because Baldur was a vicious dwarf to those who crossed him and Fili had definitely crossed him. He rounded a corner and to his surprise found his brother already up and dressed for a day of melee practice. Grabbing his brother by the shoulders he stopped his progress and spoke breathlessly.

“Help me brother. Death flies behind me.” At that moment a loud and angry bellow rose from the angry dwarf behind and Kili quickly opened and door and threw his brother inside, not caring what was on the other side. Barely a second had passed since he closed the door when Baldur rounded the corner and saw him standing there. The angry dwarf who, as Kili could now see, was wielding a wicked axe stopped in front of him and remembered to bow.

“Lord Kili, forgive my haste but I am in pursuit of the rascal who has defiled my dear daughter. Have you seen your brother?” The dwarf asked and Kili pretended to think on it.

“Not since last eve Master Baldur. I say he can often be found in the rock gardens when trying to escape unpleasant things.” He lied and the other dwarf nodded.

“Many thanks Lord Kili.” Baldur thanked him with a final bow before he took off down the hallway with as much haste as before and Kili smiled as he turned to the door behind him and opened it.

“Brother, it’s safe.” He told his brother who had finished dressing and was still looking harried. “It was worth it?”

“Most definitely worth it brother.” Fili grinned and Kili walked over and slung an arm around his brother’s shoulders before he led him out of the room. They had to get Fili back to his rooms before Baldur got wise to the lie. His axe was sharp and his temper was short.


	2. Bullies and Bogies

Kili breathed in the fresh air as he left the halls of stone. It was the first bright day after a long and harsh winter and all he desired was a chance to work with his bow. Thorin insisted that he become skilled with the weapon, considering that the best and most formidable warriors could use any weapon in their arsenal and he wanted his nephew to be formidable. As he started walking he heard the unmistakable voices of young dwarves and it sounded like they were heckling one younger. He moved stealthily toward the voices and saw four of the older dwarves surround Glar, the youngest child of Glis and Kili’s apprentice archer. Kili may not have been an expert in the craft quite yet but he saw no harm in teaching the basics to one so young. He moved ever closer but stayed back to watch how Glar handled himself. If Kili needed to step in, he would but it was better to teach the young dwarf to fight his own battles.

“Look at the pretty little maid with her toy. Did your sister make it for you from pieces of her loom?” The question caused the older dwarf’s thickheaded compatriots to laugh and Kili rolled his eyes. Couldn’t they come up with something more original?

“Did your sister braid your hair?” The younger dwarf retorted and Kili stifled a laugh. Glis’ son had the sharpest tongue of any dwarfling he’d ever met, almost as sharp as his own.

“You...you have no right to talk to me that way, you’re just a weak little elf-maiden who’s afraid to fight That’s why you play with that bow. You’re a coward.” At this line of talk Kili pursed his lips together. He’d heard it all before but had proven himself to be skilled in sword as well as axe so the taunts proved meaningless but as a young dwarfling they’d cut to the quick.

“Are you calling Lord Kili a coward as well or King Thorin or your Uncle Dwalin? They all handle a bow, and do it with skill.” Glar pointed out and Kili allowed himself a small chuckle. Leave it to the lad to come to the defense of others.

“Shut your trap!” The older one shouted and Kili saw Glar smile triumphantly before the bully grabbed his bow and broke it over his knee, causing the younger dwarf’s face to contort in devastation. Kili was enraged by such disregard for the young dwarf’s property and was about to come out of hiding to soundly thump the older bullies when Glar gathered himself up and stared his bully directly in the eye.

“You shouldn’t have done that Norn. Don’t you know that breaking a weapon in spite sends the baalruun after you?” The younger dwarf asked while Norn’s brow furrowed.

“Baalruun? I’ve never heard of such a thing. You’re making this up.” He said a bit uncertainly and Glar shook his head solemnly.

“If you’d paid attention in Master Bombur’s lessons you would know of the creature I speak. The baalruun is made of shadows, dark and deep that envelope a cruel, spiteful, dwarf when he least expects it. Once it has its prey it whisks the dwarf away to the lands of darkness where they must live their long days without the warmth of the fire or the love of kin. Watch your back Norn, it will be coming for you. In fact I just saw the shadows move by the bush at the mouth of the cave.” He told Norn and the older dwarf looked to the bushes, where Kili happened to be hiding, and suddenly made a mad dash toward the training grounds with his lunkheaded friends following behind. Glar sighed and picked up his bow, staring at it mournfully before he stuffed it into his quiver and began to trudge back to the mouth of the mountain. He walked past Kili, not even noticing his mentor within the shade of the bushes and continued on, his feet as heavy as his heart and Kili felt for him. He decided that the dwarfling would be avenged, he’d just have to get Fili’s help to do so.

…

“I talked to Bofur and he’ll have the horn done for us by midday. Mother gave me the cloaks, we just have to promise not to destroy them.” Fili informed his brother as Kili sat at his work table, carving intricate designs on the training bow he had once used. It seemed a fitting replacement for Glar’s lost weapon.

“Thank you brother. Did you tell Mother why we needed the cloaks?” Kili asked, not wishing to bring his mother’s wrath down upon them.

“Not the entire story but she is in agreement that something needs to be done to the young rascals. Glar is far from their only victim.” Fili told his brother as he sat next to him and began working on the arrows Kili had set up to work on after he’d finished the bow. “He’s the only victim to fight back with words though. The baalruun? Such a clever tale.”

“Indeed, he’s a smart lad full of fanciful stories and already has a head full of wisdom. He would be better suited to be a bard than a warrior.” Kili praised the dwarfling before he blew sawdust out of his final carving.

“Who says he cannot be both? I have finished these arrows, should we prepare the cloaks?” Fili asked his brother who nodded.

“Yes we should. The baalruun stalks this night.” He grinned at his brother before they broke into hearty laughter. They were going to make Norn pay for mocking those he thought weak.

…

Norn walked through the halls of stone nervously as he made his way to his family’s rooms. He’d been jumpy all day and that made him angry. He’d taken his anger out on his friends, who wound up deserting him out of pure self-preservation, and on any dwarflings unlucky enough to cross his path. Once his friends were gone he’d ventured into the tutors’ rooms to seek out Master Bombur to find out about the baalruun but the large dwarf had already been gone by the time he arrived and the other tutors were annoyed by his presence so he’d been cast out. He had determined that the only thing to do to protect himself would be to go home and hide under his bed until the break of the new day. Then he’d have to seek out Glar and beat him to a pulp for scaring him so. He was lost in thought as he turned a corner and almost missed the shuffling sound that preceded him in the hallway. He stopped, his heart choked with fear and started violently when he heard it again, this time louder. That was all it took and he raced down the corridor only to see two, large billowing shapes rushing toward him and emitting an eerie sound. Being the fool he was he rushed toward them and was suddenly enveloped in darkness and his brain did what any sensible brain would do. He voided his bladder and fainted.

…

After Fili and Kili dropped an unconscious Norn off at his family’s quarters and made sure he was well. They also told a thrilling tale about saving him from a ravening attack by cobwebs. Once they left Norn with his fretting mother they retreated to Kili’s room to enjoy the feeling of accomplishment and continue working on Glar’s bow. They had much work to do still and not very much time to complete it in.

…

Three days later Glar walked onto the practice fields. His father had told him that Lord Kili wanted to work with him and his stomach turned in knots. Not only had he failed to defend himself from those lunkheaded louts but he’d lost the bow he’d scrimped and saved and worked hard to purchase for himself. He was sure Lord Kili would turn him out in disgrace and sneer at him for his failures. He did not expect the wide grin and kind eyes on the older dwarf when he walked to the target range.

“Glar! It’s good to see you lad, you’ve been absent of late.” Kili greeted and Glar’s stomach turned again.

“Ummm, Lord Kili...I can’t practice with you today, you see...” He started then floundered and Kili gave him a kind smile.

“I see you’re missing a valuable component to archery young master.” Kili said curiously and Glar hung his head lower.

“It’s my fault Lord Kili. I was being teased by Norn and he broke my bow when I teased back. I know I should have fought harder to protect my bow.” The young dwarf said and made to turn but Kili stopped him.

“From the sounds of it you did the right thing. Were you outnumbered?” Kili asked and Glar nodded, suddenly more confident. “Sometimes the best course of action is to just stand still, fighting is not always the answer. It is not cowardice to turn away from an unfair fight, it’s survival. You did well and it shows that my gift for you has come at the perfect time.”

“Gift sir?” Glar asked and Kili walked to the target and brought out a bit of cloth wrapped around a familiar shape. He placed it in Glar’s hands and motioned for him to open it and the excited dwarfling pulled back the cloth and gasped. “This is for me?”

“Yes Master Glar, your technique has improved and you’re learning at an excellent pace. I believe you are ready for a heavier bow.” Kili told Glar and the lad reverently set his new bow and arrows down and ran to Kili, hugging him tightly while Kili hugged back and grinned. “Alright, enough of that. Show me how you string your new bow.”

Glar disengaged and with a wide smile he rushed back to his bow and strung it with the hands of an archer. In time he’d be comparable to Kili and, if Kili were a good enough teacher, Glar would surpass him. Kili couldn’t wait for that day and beamed with pride as Glar’s first arrow flew and came to rest next to one he’d loosed earlier. It appeared that Glar was well on his way to that goal and Kili would do what he could to help the dwarfling achieve it.


End file.
